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| Bottom Line: You'll feel better if you just give me the $20 instead of spending it on this. |
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Pros & Cons
Pros
- The game comes in a jewel case
- You can slash your wrists on the edges of the jewel case
- You can uninstall it. I think...
Cons
- Graphics that rival Doom II
- Horrible sound effects
- A physics engine that would do Trespasser proud
- Horrible control and gamepad playability
Conclusion
I know it seems like I'm being mean. Hoplite no doubt had the best of intentions. With a *lot* more work, this racer could have really been something. To this day, Cruisin' USA earns a lot of money in arcades because it's fun. Free Wheelin' USA (notice the name similarity) has a very similar formula, but it botches it so many times over that it's a hopeless proposition.
Ultimately, the game's aspirations are low to begin with, and so I have trouble faulting it for something it was never meant to be anyway. This game was made so that people who wouldn't ever read my reviews anyway would find the box interesting and sink the $20 to buy it. I don't blame them...Breasts are a very compelling feature for male purchasers. Still, you'll find no love in the game, whether you're looking for fast cars or fast women.
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